Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
