Walk of Shame. In a state park.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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