I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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