office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
