So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
