I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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