i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
wow bdsm is so cute
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
