how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize