what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
