i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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