the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
whose ass print is on the piano?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
