Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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