party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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