I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
