sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this beer tastes like vomit already
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
