My hand turned me down
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
