At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
