yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
