I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
