in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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