Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ugly people sure do ruin things
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
