just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
