shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
