We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
