Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
