watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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