There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
