She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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