in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
