it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
