Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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