She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
