I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
