Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
