used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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