i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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