turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
