i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
