Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
