He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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