God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
