the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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