you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
