I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
