I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
