Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
