You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
