I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
