drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
