So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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