Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Soap is not a condiment
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
