Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
