She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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