Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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