I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
