I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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