# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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