You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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